Calamity Clarisse -Chapter 5

Calamity Clarisse

A/N: It's HERE! We all thought it'd never happen, but here it is! Please make sure you review and I'll make sure to answer all of your kind, kind, kiiiiind reviews. Remember; they are what keep me writing, so yeah. I'm kinda of blackmailing you all.

Chapter 5: I add a hundred new items to my "I'd rather be dead than doing this" List

"We are young/ We are Strong/ Heartache to heartache we stand/No Promises, no demands/ Love is a Battlefield."

Pat Benatar – Love is a Battlefield

Today was a particularly enraging day for Silena to show up and act all crazy on me since we had a counselor's meeting going on and preparations for quests and attacks and still she showed up there and dragged me out of the room with her whining and yapping and her habit of playing with her hair as if that thing is alive or something. I don't usually complain about having Beckendorf as our captain of sorts but when Beauregard uses her power over him to get what she wants, I'm pretty sure we are going nowhere with a boy commanding us.

It started off as I said before, with me walking into Rodriguez and with Rodriguez getting all girly about my attitude towards him (which, I repeat, hadn't changed at all since the good days when we were each other's archenemies slash best friends) 'till we were both interrupted by Beauregard and her squeaky voice singing my name and saying:

"Oh, hello, lovebirds, am I interrupting something?"

As I saw her face popping under the ping pong table, I immediately turned my head to Rodriguez:

"Kill me. Now. Please." He stared at me with both his eyebrows raised and looking a little baffled:

"What?"

"C'mon, don't act like you never considered the possibility. Just choose a weapon of your taste and kill me with it. Make it quick. Or don't, whatever; I can take the pain. Just kill me."

He gave me the smile I knew he saved for his most sarcastic comments:

"As tempted as I am by this offer, Clarissa, especially 'cause it's like totally not freaking me out to hear you say that or anything," He often called me "Clarissa"; it used to annoy me senselessly when I was younger. I guess I ended up getting used to it after years of torment but he kept doing it out of habit even after I stopped trying to rip his vocal cords with my nails every time he called me that. "I don't think it would do any good to my image right now to kill someone. After the Titan Army incident, I might want to lay low for a while in the whole senselessly murdering people thing, you know? It will be though, of course, but I'll just have to let it pass this time."

I narrowed my eyes at him:

"Well, then you're now officially useless, aren't you?"

"Why, thank you." He smirked. "This means a lot coming from the person who once called me in the middle of the night 'cause she couldn't find her way back into cabin 5!"

"I was twelve and the woods are tricky! I didn't know anyone else at camp and you're like a human GPS!"

"You weren't even in the woods! You were already somewhere in the way to Manhattan!"

"Hm…guys?" I thought I had heard Silena say something but I was too angered by Chris' low blow. Bringing up the one moment in my life I had asked him for help! If I was any less honored, I would so rub the labyrinth thing in his face.

"I was trying to improve my combat skills by studying the camp location!" I defended myself and Chris' rolled his eyes.

"The "camp location" was already miles away! I picked you up at a Domino's!"

"Hey, guys, why don't we like…try to calm down and stuff?"

"Yes but you weren't complained when I had to pay for your pizza, were you?"

"For your information, I could have easily paid for that myself."

"Ra!" I snored.

"I sure could!" He replied offended. "I picked the waiter's pocket the moment I got inside!"

"Guys, seriously, this is not how friends should behave, you know…" Silena's attempts at making us shut up weren't helping at all, if anything, the yapping was only angering me more. "Honestly, this isn't how adults should behave! You two are way too grown-up to be bantering like spoiled little bra…"

"Shut up, Beauregard!" To my surprise, both, Chris and I, said the same thing at the same time without even darting our eyes from each other's angry glares. I hardly ever hit Chris' nerves so whenever I got him mad enough to get into some real fighting, I would enjoy every little second of it as if it was the last.

Don't judge me; I just said people around me were weird, I never said I was normal.

"You're such a girl."I mocked him with a smirk. "Getting all touchy over every little thing I say." I could be wrong but, for a second, I could swear he was enjoying our argument as much as I was:

"Of course I'm a girl." He gave me a smirk of his own. "One of us had to."

My smile disappeared; for some reason, his last words had pierced through my chest in such a painful way it didn't even occur to me to get mad so, instead of a clever comeback, I found myself saying:

"I am a girl."

He scoffed:

"Are you sure? 'Cause I've seen girls before and they look nothing like you."Suddenly, the argument wasn't fun anymore.

"Clarisse, Clarisse, stop!" I vaguely heard Beauregard yelling from somewhere around us. "Let go of Chris' neck!" I could feel something scratching my back slightly, I think she actually attempted to hold me back but she was too weak to be a bother; so, upon realizing this, she gave up and started walking around us, on her knees trying desperately to get me to stop, eventually looking for a moment to put her hands between us but too coward to actually move:

"Stop, Clarisse, stop! Bad Ares' daughter, bad! No treat for you!"

I tuned her voice out and focused on Chris' face that was now turning into a distinctive shade of reddish purple. I let go of his neck and pinned him down on the floor while he was still recovering from the semi unconscious state my choking had threw him into. Once I had his wrists in my hands and his legs between my knees, I took three deep breaths, trying to calm myself down just to make sure I wouldn't kill him because of, you know, that thing I said before about wasting my time saving him.

I had no idea what had made me so angry at the first place but this kind of outburst was no surprise to us, children of Ares. I'll admit I was a little shocked the first times it happened, like when I was four and broke all of my babysitter's teeth (which ended up being a good thing since it turned she did happen to be a monster trying to eat me), but around the third time I sent someone to the nurse's office just because they refused to share their pretzels with me, I was totally used to it.

Chris' color was starting to go back to normal and he didn't seem as startled as before so it wasn't a shock when he first attempted to set himself free. I had to put a lot of strength on my grip because, if there's anything Hermes' children can do, this thing is running away. The more he struggled, the more I tightened up my grip, like an octopus. I watched his face with amusement until he growled in frustration and rolled his eyes angrily:

"Shouldn't we be wearing masks and obnoxiously colored outfits to do this?" I chuckled at his frustration and that seemed to annoy him even further. "Great, Clarisse, you have successfully proved you're still a better fighter than me, especially when you use the surprise factor to, you know, make me faint!" He narrowed his eyes angrily at me. "Now, if you're going to beat me up, could you just cut the crap and do it already? I hate being restricted and this pinning down thing is really uncomfortable."

Even in my current state of mind, I was able to manage a smile (that, I suppose, he mistook as arrogance). The one thing I hadn't stopped liking about Chris was how he's never afraid of pain.

He never sugarcoats anything, nor does he delay telling people the truth because he's afraid of the consequences. He's true to himself and upfront (sure, that's a part I have learned to hate a little –especially when it's used against me). He never lies or deceives people, he'd rather just solve the problem straight away regardless how painful it could be to him.

If the Oracle ever did a prophecy destined for Chris, I bet he wouldn't be wasting his time waiting for his fate to be decided for him, playing tag against dryads (like some other people I know) –no, Chris would making sure he'd be as prepared as possible for when the real fight started, 'cause that's the sort of person he is. He never looks for the easy way out.

"Or you can simply stay there and stare at me without saying anything for hours like you're doing now. Whatever you want, creep." His sarcasm brought me back from my trance and I cursed under my breath for getting so distracted. I kept ignoring Silena's pleadings:

"Say you're sorry!" I demanded and his eyes widened in surprise before narrowing with malice:

"No." He replied stubbornly. "I'd rather just get punched, thank you."

"Just –say –you're –sorry." I repeated gritting my teeth. Chris smiled:

"Nope."

I breathed in and out again, doing my best not to rip his head off. He had no idea just how dangerous I was at that moment. I spoke again, this time on a lethal whisper:

"I'm a girl!"

Chris breathed out slowly as if thinking about what to say next but before he could even speak, another of Beauregard's comments interrupted him:

"You guys do realize how awkward the position you two are is, right? I know wrestling is like your thing and stuff…but this whole "pin down and exchange glares" deal just screams UST to me."

Chris turned his face to look at her:

"That's really not the time, Lena." Lena? He calls her Lena? I had no idea what they were talking about whatever UST stood for – maybe it was one of those stupid girly make up brands like that one she had mentioned the other day with a Y and a L on it; or that stupid thing she used to say we'd be good friends…what was it? BFF? Silena Beauregard lacks the ability of putting two sentences together in a way that they make sense…I think it's not within her brain capacity or something:

"What are you doing here, Beauregard? Don't you have some mascara to apply or something?" She rolled her eyes at me:

"As if I'd ever leave my cabin without mascara on, Clarisse. Your innocence offends me!" She chuckled.

"You existence offends me." I said under my breath. "So I guess we are even."

At this, Chris tried taking advantage of my distraction to flee but I kept him where he was.

"No way, mister. You don't get free until you do exactly what I tell you to." I told him with a winning smile. "So you better start obeying."

"Gods, Clarisse!" Silena snorted. "You might as well just put on some leather clothes and get yourself a whip. You're making me blush." I looked at her again:

"What the Hades are you talking about, Princess?" To my surprise, Chris chuckled and I immediately turned my eyes to him. "You understood her?" The two of them exchanged glances and then started laughing together which made me feel a burning sensation in the pitch of my stomach for no reason at all. It wasn't a feeling I was used to, it wasn't new –but I had only felt that once before and it was like anything else I usually felt. It wasn't anger; still it was very uncomfortable and made me want to break things.

I could feel a bitter taste in my mouth and the blood in my head felt like it was boiling. I recognized the sensation from only once before; when I stood in front of the Oracle after hearing my prophecy for the first time and knowing that I'd fail. It felt worse than humiliation or betrayal – it was hard to explain. I had always known that, being a girl, I'd never be the child my father wanted to have – Ares' daughter hardly ever made him proud – but as I received my first quest and accepted the mission to bring the Golden Fleece back, I knew I had a shot at proving myself, that I was good at fighting and that no matter what monster appeared, that I'd maim it, kill it, slay it or whatever it took for me to get there…I was gonna prove myself worthy because I had the skills.

But then, the Oracle said I'd fail and I felt abandoned by the one thing I had total confidence in. The one thing I took for granted, failed me.

So, all in all, it made absolutely no sense for me to feel the same way just by watching Chris and Silena sharing a joke I couldn't understand.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Beauregard said abruptly upon seeing my face. She stopped laughing immediately. "I'm really sorry." She told me again and I could tell she was reading a lot more into my expression than what I was letting out. "Chris, shut up!" She told him with a hispid voice I had never heard her use before and that got him quiet almost immediately.

"Aw, why?" He asked sounding disappointed. "I was having fun!" He protested.

"Just apologize to Clarisse so we can end this whole thing as soon as possible!" She told him matter-of-factly.

"I don't need you telling him to apologize to me. I can do that on my own!" then I turned to him. "Just apologize to me so we can end this as soon as possible!"

"Never." He insisted. "'Cause I'm not sorry at all…" He made a pause. "And I still think you're not a girl!"´

It took me less than three seconds to move one of Chris' arms closer to the other so I could hold them both down with just one hand. He knew exactly what I was going to do 'cause he scowled and said:

"Oh, c'mon, dude! Do you even know how hard it is to fix it after you're done with it?"

I chuckled:

"If you like it so much…"I said raising my free hand threateningly. "I'll give you one last chance to apologize before I start."

He stared at me, weighing the possibilities and then inhaled a big amount of air to gain courage.

"Whatever; just bring it on."

"Clarisse, what are you going to…?" Before Little Miss Expensive Shoes could say anything else, I grabbed Chris's hair and started pulling and pushing his head against the floor repeatedly. Next to me, Silena let out a girlish little squeak:

"Clarisse! You can't do that; you're going to damage his brain!" She was quiet for a second, rethinking her last line and then added: "Again!"

"Don't worry about it, Beauregard." I said with my eyes still focused on causing Chris pain.

"I doubt it can get much worse than what it is already."

"Besides…ouch!" Chris started to say whenever I pulled his head up. "It's not like…ouch! I'm not used to it…ouch! By now….ouch!" Considering that he even managed to give her a reassuring smile, I really think he was getting used to it; I should probably come up with something new the next time.

"Enough chit-chatting, Betty!" This was actually an Ugly Betty reference but I don't think he got it, given the situation and all. "Now say you're sorry!"

"Didn't you just tell me to shut up? Make up your mind, La Rue!" I grunted and pulled his hair so strongly, Silena yelled:

"For crying out loud, Chris! Just tell her you're sorry already; she's gonna kill you!"

"At least I'll die with my dignity!"

"What dignity, Chris? You're getting beaten up to death by a girl!"

I held his head up to give him a chance to listen to Silena's surprisingly wise advice but all he did was look from her to me and then to her again before saying:

"Now, now, Lena, we both know I'm getting beat up by Clarisse. And it does not qualify as a girl."

Silena smacked her head. I shoved his face against the floor:

"DIE!" I screamed as I kept doing the same thing again and again. "Die, die, die!"

"You're right, Clarisse." He taunted whenever he got a chance for air. "This is such a girlish thing to do!"

"I'm a girl! I'm a girl!"

"Are the two of you always like this or you just enjoy putting me in this type of situation?" Silena was now checking her manicure. "I mean, there has to be a reason for this kind of thing to happen whenever I'm next to you."

"It happens naturally." I told her, not bothering to stop torturing Chris while doing so. "You just keep getting involved because you stalk me."

"Yeah." She answered half-heartedly not even bothering to look up (or denying anything for that matter). "That's probably the reason behind it."

"Whoa, stop there, mister!" Chris almost managed to escape, taking advantage of my tiredness after holding him back for so long, but I was just starting. He spun his body sideways as if "unscrewing" himself but I was too fast and crushed his hips with my legs on a move I had just learned, preventing him to go any further. "I already told you, you won't go without apologizing first!"

"Argh! When did you learn to do that?" He asked losing his "cool" for the first time during the fight (if you can actually call me totally crashing him as an actual fight). I shrugged and smiled proudly:

"You've been away for a while. Chiron has cable now."

"Gods! Damn that Ultimate Fighting Championship!" He cursed under his breath and I smiled.

"If you think that hurts, wait 'till you see what I've learned during "Gladiator Week" on the History Channel!"

We exchanged looks for a second.

Then he tried desperately to set himself free.

"Stay, stay!" I crushed his hips with enough strength to break a weaker person's bones (but I knew Chris' limits, so I'm sure it didn't hurt him that much) and he yelled in pain. "Ok, now that we're showing ourselves more willing to be cooperative; SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" I crushed him again. "And while you're at it, make sure you say I'm a girl too."

"What?"My other request might have really shocked him 'cause he even turned his face to stare at me and ask: "Are you for real? I mean, can you at least acknowledge how ironic it is for you to ask me to say that while you have a foot on my back a hand forcing my head against the floor?"

I shrugged:

"I'm aware, but I'm feeling pretty offended right now and I thought it wouldn't hurt for me to feel a little feminine while teaching you a lesson."

"It hurts me."

"Stop whining!" I pressed his cheeks on the floor 'till his lips pouted and his voice sounded muffled. "Now say "Clarisse, you're a real lady.""

"This is ridiculous!"

"Just say it!"

"What…the…Hades…is going on here?"

The three of us looked up from our uncomfortable positions on the floor (well, Chris' was probably more uncomfortable than mine and Silena's, of course) to find a rather confused Beckendorf by the door. He stared from Chris to me than to Silena as if trying to add up how exactly we had gotten ourselves in that situation. "I come here hoping to find the cabin counselors ready for a strategy elaboration meeting and what I actually find is this" he gestured towards us and we all stared at the floor sheepishly (well, except for Chris, who couldn't exactly look down). Beckendorf sighed heavily, looking older than he actually was and then, to our surprise, he talked to the wall right next to him:

"And can you tell me why any of you even attempted to stop this madness?" One by one, all the other cabin counselors appeared. My jaw dropped:

"For how long have you been there?" I asked so angrily I let Chris head go (he wasn't expecting it so ended up hitting the floor once again and –that part was actually kind of funny – he sort of bounced once or twice).

"Uh…" Pollux started staring at his feet. "A while."

"How long is a while?" Silena asked.

"A long while." Jackson said.

"Yeah, pretty much around the time you started shoving his head against the floor." She-Jackson completed his sentences as usual. Yuck.

"You really shouldn't do that Clarisse." Katie Gardner said without looking up from her flip flops. She was always hesitant around me.

"Yeah, I mean, the guy already went crazy once…" Travis Stoll completed. And, to my surprise, Katie nodded in agreement. They never agreed in anything. I looked down at Chris:

"How come people like you? You're awful." He shrugged and pouted his lips:

"I don't know. I'm just cool like that." I buffed and then finally noticed I had let go of his head and hands…a little too late.

Chris spun his body swiftly, knocking me on the floor and pinning me down with almost no problems (not that I'd ever say that out loud). I tried setting myself free but I knew it was no good. When he gets you, he gets you. I glared at him and he smiled from ear to ear like that stupid purple cat from Disney:

"You're right, Clarisse." He said approaching his face from mine just because he knew that made me uncomfortable. "You are a girl."

"Let me go."

"And you fight like one too." He added with another winning smile.

"Enough of this!" Beckendorf yelled and Chris laughed quietly:

"Whatever." He said standing up. "I already proved my point, anyway." I followed him suit, ignoring the helping hand he had offered me. I mean, there's just so much humiliation a girl can take.

"Now," Beckendorf started again. "We can finally move on to our meeting and…"

"Er…Charlie, can I talk to you for a minute?" Everyone looked at Silena and, even after Beckendorf dropped all of the papers he was holding, they kept staring at her. I rolled my eyes as the stupid so of Hephaestus simply nodded in agreement and followed her into a corner of the room:

"Great." I cursed to myself and Chris, who had been standing with his arms crossed next to me, said:

"What?"

"She's probably there giving him some sort of excuse to get us out of this meeting."

"Then you're screwed – that guy will do whatever she asks."

"Yeah, but not this time, I'm hoping." Oh and if you are wondering how I manage to talk to Chris like nothing has happened just a second after we almost killed each other, it's quite simple; when you hate everyone, all the time, you find it hard to hold a grudge. It's not that different from what you usually feel, so you just get back to the way you felt before the argument. "He's been hurt lately. With her, I mean."

"Hurt? Why would he feel hurt?" He asked. I actually snickered:

"Seriously? You can't think of a reason at all?" Chris seemed to think about it and I rolled my eyes at his stupidity.

"If you keep thinking this slowly, you'll get yourself murdered." I warned him.

"I'm sorry if I'm thinking slowly." He added with sarcasm. "I have a bit of a headache, you know?" He massaged his temples sadly. "Plus, my hair is a mess!"

"Oh, get over it, sissy!" I scowled and Chris never got a chance to answer because Charles Beckendorf approached us and said:

"Ok, Clarisse, off you go."

"What?" I was sincerely hoping Beckendorf would be the key to prevent Silena from ruining my life that day. "Don't you have any pride, dude? Do you simply do whatever this girl asks you to?" He seemed as if he was gonna cry for a second but then he swallowed whatever emotion he was feeling and told me in a cool voice:

"Silena got you two permission to leave camp for the weekend, thus, I have to have you out of here or else, the harpies will attack."

"I can handle the harpies, is you little girlfriend I can't stand!" I told him in a desperate whisper.

"Clarisse, these are my captain orders and you're obeying them!" The thing that made Beckendorf a good leader was exactly how he always managed to cover up his emotions during the crucial moments; it was something I envied –me having such a choleric personality.

I sighed angrily in frustration.

"Ok, captain." I said against my will. "I'll do as I'm told to." Silena smiled and jumped.

"Yay! Girl time for us!" she then threw her arms around Charles making everyone around dart their eyes from them (especially the recently awkward Jackson and She-Jackson who couldn't look more uncomfortable at that moment if they tried, a real fun sigh…not). And then she started pulling me out of the meeting room.

"I hope you're ready for our girl time! I have soooo much planned already!" She told me excitedly. I looked back just once and found Chris' eyes watching us. I mouthed the words:

"Kill –me." But he just chuckled and whispered something I had to read on his lips:

"Good luck, champ."

"Boiling slowly in a pan filled with the hottest lava you could possibly find."

"Having my skin peeled off by a potato peeler while the Apollo kids sing famous 80's show tunes."

Some people will say I have some anger management issues, I've heard something like that. Well, let me tell you something straight away so we can all be clear on this one particular topic: I do not have anger management issues.

I can tell you this easily enough because I can state with absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am, for sure, a very self-controlled, well-behaved and, by all means, an entirely Zen person.

I can state it because Silena Beauregard is alive.

You see, had I been as hot-tempered as I'm given credit for, Silena Beauregard would now be not only dead but probably also mutilated, carbonated and, if possible, skinned. However I'm a controlled adult who's perfectly capable to manage the urge to do said things, regardless the girl's obvious displays of owning a giant death wish and the voices in my head yelling me to do so. And it's due to my will power (and only that) that Silena not only lives as she also whistles around a stupid song on our way to cabin 5.

Yes, I did say "whistle".

"Climbing Mount Everest while wearing nothing but combat boots and an ACDC t-shirt."

"Clarisse!" She finally seemed to acknowledge my constant muttering. "What are you rambling on so passionately to yourself back there?" She asked with her hands on her hips, trying, I imagine, to impose some sort of authoritarian image. Ha – ha.

"Nothing…" I replied with a scowl. "I'm just randomly listing the things I'd rather be doing instead of, you know, being forced to spend time with you."

She stared at me in silence for a few marvelous seconds during which I thought I had managed to strike a nerve (and, if I were lucky enough, a nerve sufficiently important for her to bleed out and die right there) but, before I could get my hopes any higher; the spawn of Aphrodite just giggled and smiled at me before saying:

"Oh, Clarisse, you're so funny."

You see, "funny" is not a word I get a lot – especially when people are talking about me –so I just stood there, shocked beyond measure, with my jaw dropped and unable to move any further.

"C'mon, let's start moving, right? Chop, chop! We have a whole day ahead of us!" She said walking up to me and putting her arm around my neck (which was rather uncomfortable considering she's more than a foot shorter than me and my spine bent 90 degrees to the front). I grunted as a response but, not surprisingly, she completely ignored me.

We made our way to Cabin 5 in the same stupid position gathering all sorts of looks from the other campers on our way. I made sure to throw my most terrifying glare to each and every one of them as to dare to do as much as make any little comment on what they were seeing. I might have come down as a bit too strongly 'cause I think I saw two or three girls running away in tears just after I put my eyes on them but, then again, it serves them right; they were lucky they got to get out of the situation with just some minor water works.

On the other hand, I suppose I'd have to admit the scene was pretty much as confusing as it could get. So I can't exactly blame anyone for wondering how on earth I had (of all people) become Miss Olympus' shiny new toy. Well, let me just answer to this by expounding one simple thing:

Silena Beauregard is evil.

And I'm not talking about the "High School Prom Queen" kind of evil, nor even the "me" type of evil; no, no. I'm talking about the real "Titan Lord wants to rule the world" evil. She might trick everyone with her dumb looking face but don't be mistaken: beneath all that cherry flavored lip gloss lies a cold hearted, manipulative being that can only be the result of a one night stand between Hannibal Lecter and Malibu Barbie.

I actually pointed this out to her on yet another attempt of showing just how much I hated the whole situation and all she did was stare at me in silence for a while and then say:

"Don't be silly." She crossed her arms and smiled. "My lip gloss is mint flavored. I like it 'cause it makes my mouth feels funny."

Yeah, and this is the person I'm hostage to; I'm so ashamed of myself right now.

You see, for no apparent reason other than her brain been long ago toasted due the overexposure to the radiation of fake tan machines, Silena seems to have decided the two of us would make perfectly good best friends (an idea I find just as plausible as Tantalus getting a "Father of The Year" award) and, ever since she started with this madness of hers, I've been forced to go everywhere with Rainbow Bright literally wrapped around my neck.

Assuming you're a sane person, you're probably wondering why exactly am I enduring this instead of, you know, giving Beauregard a "fist full of Clarisse" so I'll explain it to you (since there are many, many reasons besides the fact that the "fist full of Clarisse" expression sounds kinda wrong).

It all started around two nights ago when I entered cabin 5 to pick the new sword I had just received from one of the Hephaestus' kids that morning. I wanted to train a little before going to bed since training is the one thing that kept me from going crazy with adrenaline after I lay in bed and started thinking about the war. To my surprise, I found the cabin's lights all on, which was extremely weird since everyone was out at the bonfire.

I made sure to walk very silently as I tiptoed my way inside the cabin, my fingers tightening their grip on the knife I carried in my pocket and I cursed myself for not having Maimer with me at that moment.

As it usually happens when I feel somewhat threatened, things started to move really slowly as if the atmosphere around me had gotten heavier and time was now struggling to move forward; I watched every corner of the Ares' cabin attentively but the whole place seemed empty. It wasn't until I got to the girl's part of the cabin that I realized what exactly was wrong.

Someone had gone through my stuff.

Obviously, my first conclusion was that it had been an Hermes' kid trying to be funny (it had happened before) and then, more specifically, since they had clearly scoured my locker for something, I concluded it could only have been Chris trying to steal my underwear or something (which had also happened before) but as I gave it a bit more thought, I realized it couldn't have been either of these options. First because Hermes' kids are naturally good at stealing so you usually don't even notice they got into your cabin; they leave everything precisely the way it was and it takes ages until you realize what's missing. Second because all my underwear seemed to be there and the last time Chris stole anything from me, the Mess House woke up with ten new boxer shaped flags (and I never got to see one of my bras again, by the way).

I then started to worry about the invasion as something more serious and decided to talk to Chiron about it but on my way out, a voice called for me:

"Oh, there you are, Clarisse."

And that simple greeting marked the end of my days.

Silena Beauregard walked towards me with a big grin on her face and I could see the one thing I wished nobody knew about on her hands.

"How did you…?" I started but she raised a hand to stop me from speaking.

"My mother sent me a dream." She told me. "I prayed for her today while I was stuck on that bathroom for hours…" As she said that, even in my enraged mood, I fought a snicker that I believe she noticed because she narrowed her eyes at me on what I suppose was a threatening look. "And I eventually fell asleep and she sent me a dream. I didn't understand at first what it meant but then…" She showed me her hands again. "Who would ever guess you'd keep this for so long, right?"

The reason I hated that situation so much was beyond the simple fact that I was being blackmailed by a daughter of Aphrodite. More than hating Silena at that moment, I hated myself for keeping that stupid thing for so long when I knew that I couldn't afford to do that sort of stupidity, when I knew there were so many enemies that could use it against me. I was not supposed to have "personal treasures" that is the sort of thing normal people have, not me.

"What makes you think I can't simply knock you out and get it back?" I said between gritted teeth and she swallowed her saliva, as if trying to regain her courage and said:

"Well," She started and an evil smile crossed her face, a sign she had already found her confidence again. "Because, as I told you, I had a dream."

I snickered:

"So did Martin Luther King and look at what happened to him." She scowled at me and the proceeded:

"Mock me all you want, La Rue, but the fact is that you and I both know that this little piece of cardboard I have in my hands tells me at least three of your biggest, darkest secrets." I breathed in and out slowly, trying my best not to murder her at that right moment.

"Yes, Beauregard, yes, it does. Now will you give it back to me or will I have to make you?" I said, pulling the knife from my pocket. She stared at the blade nervously and then sighed as if she was suddenly feeling really tired:

"I told you before, haven't I? I'm only doing this because I want to be near you, I have no wish of using anything against you. If only you'd be willing to spend some of your time listening to what I have to say instead of trying to murder me…"

"Should I start my countdown again?" I said angrily and she sighed again before staring at me with surprisingly strong willed eyes and saying:

"No! No more good Silena for you, missy!" Yes, the "shower invader" Silena is actually the "good" Silena. "I told you this before and I'm repeating it now; you can't hurt me 'cause even though your father likes to stay out of his children's fights, my mother is always on our side so, if you do as much as to lay a finger on me, be sure that your father will hate you forever." I partially doubted that: I mean, knowing my father, I'm sure that one minute in the same room with Beauregard would be all he needed to decide the world was better off without her from the start but she did have a point after all, so I swallowed my pride.

"So, you're going to blackmail me? Way to prove we can be friends." I said with sarcasm but she blushed and stared at her own feet.

"I have no other option." She said and I rolled my eyes. The whole "I had no other option" is exactly the sort of thing that makes me hate weak people. We always have other options; people are just not brave enough to actually try them. She saw me rolling my eyes and said: "I know what you're thinking: that I'm making excuses for my actions but I don't do that." She sounded so serious I was surprised for a second or two. "I always own up to the things I do; I try to set a good example for my cabin." This had me snoring in contempt. I mean, what's a "good example" for Aphrodite Cabin anyway? Making sure your purse and shoes match?

"You can think whatever you want of me, Clarisse, but as right as you are when you say I don't know you; I'm right to say you don't know me,; so, two can play this game and, right now, I'm winning when it comes to control. You can't beat me up and I have your biggest secret in my possession. As far I'm concerned, you belong to me."

You people have no idea how wrong it feels to listen "You belong to me" from a person who has recently broken into your shower cabin, so I just stared at her with both my eyebrows raised 'till she realized what she had said and blushed:

"Ok, that sounded way more awkward than what I had intended it to." She scratched the back of her head, completely forgetting to pose as a villain for a second (she totally sucked on the whole "looking evil" thing). "What I intended to say is that, even though you hate me right now, I know we can make it and that, someday, you will realize that we are both very alike and we will be the best friends in the world. Even if we did start the wrong way with me, you know, disrespecting your privacy and blackmailing you and stuff…" She let out a small, nervous chuckle as if she was still trying to believe she had won. "I know you think we are opposites but that's…That's good! We can be like Jo and Blair, you know? From "The Facts of Life"."

Stupid Nickelodeon! Ever since the first reruns on "Nick at Nite" I've been getting "Jo" jokes all the time. I scowled at Silena:

"Jo and Blair? Are you sure?" She mistook my comment as something positive because she smiled and bobbed her head in agreement:

"Totally. They were super close even with all the bantering, you know?" I chuckled:

"They were big dykes, Silena." She stopped mid-sentence, the leftovers of a smile still on the corners of her mouth. She remained in the same position for a few seconds while assimilating what I had just said:

"No, they weren't." Yes, they were but that was all I got from her as a comeback and it wasn't like I was trying to prolong our conversation any more so I had just shut up and rolled my eyes. And it's exactly the same thing I've been doing ever since; shutting up and rolling my eyes at her as she goes on and on about us being friends or whatever other nonsense she has in mind for the day.

"Here we are!" Today's Silena yelled bringing my thoughts back to earth. We were staring at my cabin's front door.

"What are we doing here?" I asked her. I had been dreading something like this for a long time and even though I had almost no control in whatever freakish plan she came up with, I was still gonna do everything I could to prevent it from happening in front of my siblings; the few people who still respected me at that stupid camp.

"Don't worry silly, we're just here to pack!"

Ok, packing wasn't as bad as I thought, really. Sure it implied I'd have to go somewhere with…that, but still it was better than "makeovers" and "fancy dresses" or "makeup". Packing was hardly as bad as what I had in mind.

"And then we are going for a two day spa session at my favorite place!" She added happily, throwing her arms in the air.

My worst nightmare had just come true.

A/N:Finally! Writing this chapter was a bit of a puzzle work so if you find something that looks weird "verbwise" don't be surprised, I wrote and rewrote this tons of times and changed the order of events another ton! The next chapter will come in the speed of light because YAY! It's NOT in Clarisse's POV. Don't get me wrong, she's my fav character but Gods, writing her is worse than hitting your elbow on stuff ! Once again the "bra stealing" was a suggestion from AthenaDemi360 on DeviantArt; thanks girl. I'll try updating this once more before getting to the next Sweet and Corny chapter (have you checked it already? It's my other PJatO comedy –go check it nooow). And please, leave a review. It's what keeps me moving. Hard chapters like this one only exist because you people motivate me! :~

Next chapter we will be back to Miss Beauregard's POV for one or two chapters and then we are back to Chris…And, by the way, what does Silena have on Clarisse, people, WHAT ? lol